Joanne

Support for parents, understanding children, positive discipline, helping families cope

Joanne

Joanne

My name is Joanne Boyd and my goal is to connect with you and support you in your parenting journey. I’m a Registered Early Childhood Educator / Parent Educator with a Bachelor of Science degree and 20 years experience in the child and family sector.

Posted by on in Parenting

Hello and hope you all had a great summer. So far, 2016 has been a very busy year for me with lots of opportunities to connect with families through workshops I delivered at various schools, daycares and community health centres plus all the great folks I worked with through one-on-one coaching. I have been actively involved in some great professional development this year and am grateful to have had the opportunity to complete The Infant Mental Health Certificate from Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto, Making Sense of Preschoolers by The Gordon Neufeld Institute and some amazing online professional development on Supporting Aggressive Children through Hand In Hand Parenting. I continue to immerse myself in great books on the latest findings on brain development, support for children with special needs, coping with anxiety and family relationship dynamics.  I'm fully inspired and ready to work with you to support your family relationships and connection with your child. Feel free to contact me for a FREE CONSULTATION to discuss your needs. Happy September! Keep things simple, stay connected to your child!

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Posted by on in Parenting

Hi folks. Still providing parent coaching but been too busy to blog... Stay tuned! Happy fall. Regards, Joanne

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So, we’ve established that parenting is hard work and all of us come to the table with some kind of personal baggage or experience from our own upbringing that impacts our ability to parent optimally at all times. How can we manage our emotions when children present with big feelings and / or challenging behaviors day in and day out?

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In order to parent our children in a healthy, loving manner, it can be helpful to take a step back and reflect upon the way we were parented. Since parents are not provided with " how to manuals" when their children are born, it is not unusual for new parents to practice the same parenting style that they were exposed to as children. Did you grow up in a home that was safe, secure and loving for the most part?  Were your parents actively engaged in regular, positive, and  open communication with you? Did your parents acknowledge and support your emotions ( positive and negative) growing up?  Was your parent's approach to discipline fair and did it provide guidance and teaching? Looking back, how would you describe the parenting style used by your parents? Was it for the most part balanced and consistent? Might your parents have been harsh and insensitive on occasion when you were seeking empathy and understanding from them?  Or alternatively, were there times when they may have been indulgent and overly lenient? Did you have opportunities for fun as a family growing up? Reflecting back on how you were parented while thinking about what kind of parent you want to be can be an illuminating experience. 

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Happy New Year! The start of a new year is a practical time for reflection and fresh starts so I thought I'd change up the direction of my blog a tiny bit. My plan for the next little while is to do some blog entries in the form of a parenting workbook called "Surviving & Thriving as a Parent....  A Workbook for Family Harmony". I hope these entries will serve as opportunities for reflection on our parenting techniques, offer tips, and help us develop some healthy goals for our families. So let's get started....... I really welcome your feedback, editing, comments, stories, and input. Don't be shy; share your experiences and thoughts if you wish.

Effective parenting requires reflection, introspection, flexibility and resilience. We have to look back on where and how we learned to be parents, and our experiences and values definitely influence and help us chart the course for where we want to go now with our children.

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Posted by on in Teenage Brain Development

RETHINKING THE TEENAGE YEARS..

Culturally, what are the current views about teenagers? We are constantly being bombarded by negative reporting and commentary about the impulsive, reckless, inconsiderate, know-it-all behaviours of teenagers. In fact, just the mention of the word "teenager" and many of us conjure up images of awkward looking kids with pimples, braces, and out of control hormones.

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Posted by on in Managing Holiday Stress

The busy holiday season is here already and you may get some unexpected visitors from children, such as difficult behaviours and indication of stress. With some advance planning and managing holiday triggers you can reduce some of the holiday stress and find some peace and joy

As much as kids love and get excited for the Winter Holidays, there can be high expectations followed by lots of disappointment, lack of routine and numerous opportunities for over-stimulation which can contribute to some “naughtier than nice” behaviours and tantrums. As a parent, the first thing you need to do is manage your own stress and negative triggers. Acknowledge and try to find healthy releases for your own emotional triggers and reactions, which can include:

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Posted by on in Report Card Blues

 

Report Card Blues...

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Posted by on in Positive Vision of Your Child

In The Art of Sensitive Parenting, Katherine C.Kersey wrote, "children learn who they are from those around them." We can create warm tender feelings or harsh labels that make kids and parents feel lousy, overwhelmed and discouraged. It is not difficult to come up with negative labels for our children's behaviour and temperament but can we come up with positive descriptors instead? Can we change our filter to look at strengths? Labels stick and can be devastating to children and parents. From a parents point of view, negative thinking about our children can drum up the following feelings:

  • fear of being a bad parent
  • resentment as to why did I have this difficult child
  • shame / confusion - can't this child be different? I must be doing something wrong
  • embarrassment for how this kid behaves in public
  • exhaustion from raising a child whose demands never end
  • anger about how entitled and selfish this child is
  • isolation - I'm the only parent to have a child like this    (Adapted from Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka)

Redesign labels to help give hope and a new perspective about your child... Instead of stubborn, use tenacious or persistent. This is the stuff PHDs and Olympians are made of. In stead of demanding, try holds high standards. Replace nosy with curious, wild with energetic, picky with discriminating, explosive with dramatic. This new vision leads to the building of better relationships and healthier responses to our children and their unique needs. Help others see your child's gifts...teachers, in laws, friends, relatives. Perhaps your child is the beautiful orchid in the garden that requires more TLC but the potential for inner beauty/ talent is limitless. So write down your child's strengths and post them on the fridge to help you find a new vision of your child.

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Well, here we are but a few weeks into the Sepember routine and some stressors are starting to creep back into our lives. Here are some common daily scenerios that get our stress juices flowing:

  • getting everyone packed up with snacks, lunches and having had a healthy breakfast
  • getting out the door on time
  • surviving the everyday ups and downs of school, daycare, playgroup, or work
  • finding time and energy for a healthy and sometimes yummy evening meal
  •  running off to extracurriculars
  • and ensuring everyone gets to bed on time for a good might sleep.    

That list doesn't include the extras like remembering to hem my 12 year olds' men's size medium pants, picking up groceries, laundry, spending time with my aging mother, fall house maintenance, etc, etc.You get the picture. Summer holidays seem a long way off......

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Posted by on in Back To School

Welcome to my parent support blog. I'm new to this, but hoping to create a healthy, supportive community where we can discuss everyday parenting concerns and trends. I welcome your comments and questions. By the way, I'm definitely more of a talker than writer, so, please forgive my grammar and punctuation errors. I really try to live by the motto " Nobody's Perfect  "

So, today is my first day as a freelance parent support coach and educator. I'm a bit nostalgic about leaving my fabulous position of 6 years as a facilitator at a very busy downtown drop in program where I served families and caregivers with children aged birth to 6. In that position, I always loved coming back in September to hear everyone's summer stories and to marvel at how much developmental change happened in such a short time. I'm not sure who was prouder of these new milestones, parents, caregivers or the children themselves. I am already missing the hugs and smiling faces but have changed gears professionally in search of restoring some much needed balance in my own family life. 

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Posted by on in General

As I ramp up my new venture I will post all kinds of great information about parenting in the 21st century. 

 

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